you can until you won't

It has been a better day today and thank you, Lord, for that. Firstly, I found my phone! Cue the heavens opening up, a ray of light and chorus of angels - Hallelujah! And secondly, I applied for course overloading and finally have a relative good enough amount of AUs this semester to not have a totally hectic final year. I'm still thinking if I should get another course though.

Well, my period (with cramps ╥﹏╥ ) remains, but for now

I'm just glad things are better because this week has been really stressful, with Stake For The Nation coming up, and Discovery Camp dry runs next week and my schedule being a complete wreck. And I feel like I could have been a lot worse, you know, with my phone being lost and all. And on top of all that, cramps D:

I thought I'd feel terrible this morning - so terrible that I'd skip school or just completely zone out during lessons or be cranky and depressed. But I wasn't. I even miraculously finished my readings last night in preparation for this morning's tutorial. And I feel like it really wasn't me at all. Thank you, Lord, for being with me and granting me a sort-of peace. 

I've been afraid for a long while now that I will go back to the way I used to be. "What happens when school starts? Can I and will I still choose to be happy then?" This was ever since Ate Elisha said she hopes I remain in my good place for a long time. And to be honest, it's stressful and pressurizing! But I have to always remind myself that the times I fall are also opportunities for the Lord to pick me up. And for the past few times where I've needed Him, He hasn't failed me. (ﾉ´ｰ`)ﾉ

Thank you, Lord, because I think I can have a little more faith in myself now - that it won't be that easy for the Devil to eat me up because I will not go down without a fight. I've had a couple spates of bitterness recently, which I think came with the service and the added dimension of school. My Martha was overwhelming me and I forgot to stop and bring out my Mary - to just stop and focus on Jesus. I guess I should constantly remind myself that even in the secular part of my life, I'm still a youth for Christ.

It has been a long long week, I shall collapse now.