School started this week and it's been a bit of a whirlwind of ... stuff. I was wondering if I should say 'emotions' but is it really?
Firstly, my timetable is a bit messed up. I don't have enough AUs (ie. credits) and I need to get at least two more modules so that my 4th and last year in school (hopefully, c'mon Joan, get yourself get through this) next year won't be a wreck with FYP also going on. And just the big three letter word F - Y - freakin' - P, yea I have a lot of worries about that too. But at the same time, being year 3 now, I attended a few 'upper' level electives and they're intense, it's scary but so damn exciting.
I'm taking a class on Crisis Management and there's only two of us y3 students while everyone else is y4 so wow the level of intimidation is through the roof, but I guess Augustine Pang's (har-har, that's my instructor and yes, I'm eagerly awaiting to see if he'll make a joke over our similarities in name) charisma and the course material itself has gotten to me. The other day, I also attended a lecture on Persuasion and Social Influence. I'm not taking it (damn you, research, bane of my academic life) but the instructor was also very charismatic.
I guess it's not so much about them being charismatic, but them basically saying, "I've made the course such that it's going to be difficult but I know you can do it and I am going to push you till you get there." And I thought, "THIS IS IT. We are going to freakin' graduate. We are going to get jobs. We're not going to be students forever. We're going to go out there and show people what we've got and what we've learned here."
I'm still really worried about my timetable. At this point, I'm even considering taking ECONOMICS?! Like bleargh, NTU; come on, give me something, please. This whole week was a bit stressful because of course registration and some technical errors with my STudent Automated Registration System (STARS) so I'm glad that was sorted out. I think I lost at least 10 years off my life within the first three days (of add/drop) alone. And on top of that, my planning was fail but I guess that's what you get when you don't think and just grab what you can get until you realize it doesn't make sense.
Ugh. I just need to have 20 AUs this semester and not have subjects that are totally out of my league/scope of interest and ability, is that too much to ask for o(╥﹏╥)o
This week, we also had our briefing for our Professional Internship (PI) which will happen next year. So that's all very exciting; scary as hell - yes - but very exciting. I can't help thinking that I won't be able to get an FYP group because I don't really know know anyone (ie. 我没有朋友) and you know, I don't want to be that person who has to suddenly join a group because the teacher is like "Hey guys, this person doesn't have a group. You'll have to take her in." It's a YEAR-long project, people choose who they want to work with for a reason. I don't really want to have to think about any of this （／_＼）
People think I should be making more use of my time in Wee Kim Wee (WKWSCI) and that I could and should be doing more. "You've got it all laid out for you, getting into the course of your choice at a local university," they say, "get your shit together!" ... Ok, they don't really say that but there are moments where I do feel guilty for having a spot in a school that someone else could have filled and made so much more out of.
50 words of appeal vomitted out in under 20 minutes and look where it got me.
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