Sunday, 18 August 2013

brav·ery \ˈbrāv-rē, ˈbrā-və-\

"take full accountability for your own emotions, they are yours"

Having doubts again about the matters I am discerning for, but I guess that's all part of the discernment process. I am scared because I thought I was healed but maybe I'm not. The stitches are opening up and the wound is pulling apart again. I try to hide this. I change the bandage daily. But again, the time comes when the bandage is soiled and in disgust, I must pry it apart from the blood and infection that is festering beneath it, clean the wound and place another.  

I thought that maybe all that was left was a scar - a scar that I could run my fingers over and smile knowingly at that one time I scraped my knee and it bled a lot and I tore at the scabs but that's all ok now, all that's left is an uneven patch of skin which can serve as a memento, reminding me to laugh at stupid ol' me and don't ever try again to 'Look, Ma! No hands!' whilst I'm cycling. But I guess not. 

This is no scrape on my knee.

Bran thought about it. “Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?”
“That is the only time a man can be brave,” his father told him. 
- A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice & Fire, Book I)
edit 19 August 2013 03:43

it's either it never mattered enough or you moved on 
but regardless, you've got bigger problems now 
while I remain neither here nor there

Why does this have to be so hard? For God's sake, it's just to pick a freakin' sharer.

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