Having doubts again about the matters I am discerning for, but I guess that's all part of the discernment process. I am scared because I thought I was healed but maybe I'm not. The stitches are opening up and the wound is pulling apart again. I try to hide this. I change the bandage daily. But again, the time comes when the bandage is soiled and in disgust, I must pry it apart from the blood and infection that is festering beneath it, clean the wound and place another.
I thought that maybe all that was left was a scar - a scar that I could run my fingers over and smile knowingly at that one time I scraped my knee and it bled a lot and I tore at the scabs but that's all ok now, all that's left is an uneven patch of skin which can serve as a memento, reminding me to laugh at stupid ol' me and don't ever try again to 'Look, Ma! No hands!' whilst I'm cycling. But I guess not.
This is no scrape on my knee.
Bran thought about it. “Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?”
“That is the only time a man can be brave,” his father told him.
- A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice & Fire, Book I)
edit 19 August 2013 03:43
it's either it never mattered enough or you moved on
but regardless, you've got bigger problems now
while I remain neither here nor there
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