update numero uno /warning: incoherent/

The weather has been gloomy today, rain ~falling slowly, drip, drop, drive me insane~ I finally sort of have a short breather today to write again about my boring life which I think about often. I wish there was a typewriter in my head that could capture all my thoughts on-the-go.

School has been really hectic and on top of yfc stuff, haven't had much time to just sit down and consolidate, it's been like go go go!!! I think it doesn't help that I end really late on 3 out of my 4 school days. M 5PM, T 7:30PM, W 8PM, TH 7:30PM (T＿T)

Speaking of which, I'm actually taking 24 AUs right now, which means SEVEN modules, so that's pretty crazy in itself. The usual maximum load is 20, but people usually don't go past 18. I'm trying to make up for the bad decisions I made last semester but I'm just hoping it doesn't backfire on me ⊙﹏⊙ Like taking so many modules now so my final year won't be too busy but then, you know, ending up failing this semester because I can't cope with the larger work load. I'm really hoping that does not happen.

24 / 8: Stake For The Nation & Mama's company family day

25 / 8: Core household

26 / 8: Meet up with Jon Cheong

27 / 8: Miguel's birthday

28 / 8: West Youth Camp meeting

29 / 8: Nothing extra but I end class at 7:30, boo D:

30 / 8: Free day, yay yippee yehey 〜(￣▽￣〜)  & chapter household 

31 / 8: Discovery camp dry run & JT's debut

01 / 9: Kuya Edmar's birthday

02 / 9: Mama's birthday

03 / 9: Discovery camp dry run

So on top of all those, making time for friends and family and yfc service and a talk to prepare for and an event to host, I had two big presentations in school. Ok, actually three, because all that happened within the span of one week. It may not seem like much, but believe me, it's no joke. Praise God I made it through ALL that, honestly don't know how I could have done it without Him.

Emotions were also on a hike. I could blame it on my period, you know, but I don't know the extent of its influence hahaha (sorry tmi) so it's probably largely due to the busy-ness of everything. I wouldn't say I was stressed? But yea, just busy busy busy like a bee.

I think it might have something to do with my service partner in crime (ie. slacking) hehehe who keeps joking that he's going to go awol on me because his school has started and I'm just like, "Dude, wth, I've been a university student all this while we've been serving together and I haven't gone awol on you." -.- But he's joking only la, I THINK. Or maybe because I was already mad at him over something in a similar vein and his joke was just ... haiz, inappropriate. Owells, I'll write about that another time ^^v

School has been a really fulfilling experience so far. It seems like every time I go to class, I realize that the world has much to offer and I am near to experiencing it myself first-hand. Perhaps this is the feeling that comes with being year 3? I'm not sure.

There are times where, you know, I might be lacking in school spirit or cynical of what Wee Kim Wee has to offer and what the students pride itself on when only a select few feel that way. I will always feel lacking compared to my batch mates. I will always wonder if there's something wrong with me and why my university (social) life isn't the one everyone else seems to have. I might never shake this feeling of failure in the face of others' success all around me; or, until I actually get one, that I'll find an fyp group that will have me and accept me wholly.

But then, I remember that your education is what you make of it. Your 4 years in what-you-may-call-a-hell-hole is what you make of it. And I remember that it's my fault, and it always will be my fault. But that also reminds me that I can make it better. And better, not by anyone's standards - but my own. It's up to me after all.

Who are who are who are we? We are we are Wee Kim Wee.