"I pointed out that journals are almost always misleading. We use them to record miseries, frustrations of the moment, anger we don't want to put into the air. We didn't need them when we were content."
I was telling a friend about how I got really upset that one time when my chapter didn't bring drinks not because I was angry at them - ok, I was a bit, although that wasn't the primary reason - but because I felt responsible. I felt that I hadn't done enough as a chapter head to ensure that the members brought their share. And now, everyone had to suffer because there weren't enough drinks! Oh, the horror.
At times like that, I remind myself that that is me trying to be in control of things that I have little to no control of.
Thinking about how we romanticize sadness
About how sadness is overrated
And why I think sometimes that makes it so darn hard to be happy
Maybe when you're happy, you figure that people stop caring about you. Because they think you're ok. They think you're doing good. But what if you're not. What if you were actually ok for many months, but one day you're not. And you think maybe tomorrow will be better, but that day doesn't come. Nobody's looking at you though. Nobody notices. So you just get stuck.
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