why I am both sad and happy that things are changing

I am sad because I feel like 10 years of my life might have been for nothing.

I am happy because changes and new things means more space to grow, more things to learn and going beyond all that we already know.

I am sad because I feel that the memory of me will fade to dust and then that's it.

I am happy because I know it is time and I feel that I am being propelled forward to better things. Unknown better things, yes, but better things.

I am sad because

just coz'.

But who is to say that dust will not remain in the air until all has gone to waste. That even when there is nothing left, those particles will continue floating, ever floating, never ceasing to exist and that there will always be a part of you in this place, in his face, in her case. Who is to say that you will be forgotten by the heart, even if you are forgotten by the mind. Even if brains wither to jelly and the hunger in your belly no longer thumps like a heart gasping for air- just- air.

Who is to say that the sea will wash your footprints away but your imprint will not remain in the water that glides over it, the water that laps up that mark that you left because it yearned to follow you, to keep you close. Colourless, odourless, no sign of you, but holding everything that you are. You will disappear, yes - most of the time, you will. But every now and then ...

Who is to say that these are not just feelings from the Devil, meant to keep you at bay from the One who loves you most, from the One who wants best, from the One who told you that you can overcome with His help, His love and that He can and always will give you peace.